Abuse

Abuse is the treatment of others or self in a way that

causes injury or offense. It harms the mind and the spirit and

often injures the body as well. It can cause confusion, doubt,

mistrust, and fear. It is a violation of the laws of society and

is in total opposition to the teachings of the Savior. The Lord

condemns abusive behavior in any form—physical, sexual,

verbal, or emotional. Abusive behavior may lead to Church

discipline.

Counsel for the Abuser

If you have been abusive in any relationship, you must

repent of your sin. Plead with the Lord to forgive you. Ask

for forgiveness from those you have harmed. Speak with

your bishop or branch president so he can help you through

the repentance process and, if necessary, help you receive

additional counseling or other assistance.

If feelings of anger have fueled your abusive behavior,

learn to master your temper. Go to the Lord in prayer and ask

Him to help you. With an eternal perspective, you will see

that your anger has almost always come in response to things

that are not very important.

If you have been guilty of sexual abuse, seek to discipline

your mind. Remember that your thoughts have a powerful

impact on your life—“as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so

is he” (Proverbs 23:7). Stay away from pornography and

anything else that could stimulate immoral sexual desire.

Pray for the ability to “let virtue garnish thy thoughts

unceasingly” (D&C 121:45).

Help for Victims of Abuse

If you are a victim of abuse, seek help immediately. Talk

with your priesthood leader, normally your bishop or branch

president but at times a member of the stake or district presidency.

He can help you know what to do.

Be assured that you are not to blame for the harmful

behavior of others. You do not need to feel guilt. If you have

been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether you

have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a

family member, you are not guilty of sexual sin. Know that

you are innocent and that your Heavenly Father loves you.

Pray for the peace that comes only through Jesus Christ

and His Atonement (see John 14:27; 16:33). The Savior has

experienced all your pains and afflictions, even those caused

by others, and He knows how to help you (see Alma 7:11–12).

Rather than seek revenge, focus on matters you can control,

such as your own outlook on life. Pray for the strength to forgive

those who have hurt you.

Continue to seek help from your priesthood leader so he

can guide you through the process of emotional healing.

Through the blessings of the gospel, you can stop the cycle of

abuse and be freed from the suffering you have experienced.

Additional references: Matthew 18:1–6; D&C 121:34–46

See also Forgiveness; Repentance